International in the Middlfeofnowhere

Hugging my sick boy, I said he would feel better after a good night of rest and that his medicine was working on fighting his germs and telling them to get out. Can you imagine what that little four year old said to me?
“Sort of like the people in Libya fought Gadhafi and told him to get out? So I can say get out Gadhafi germs?”
Separately, I almost cried when I saw that next week is the last episode of Downton Abbey. I’ll be so sad to see it go. Aren’t you loving it? And aren’t you loving this post? Gadhafi and Downton Abbey all in one.

Mothering

I might need to stop listening to NPR around my four year old. At first questions about Gaddafi were cute. Now they aren’t so darling. Although we did have a nice geography lesson this morning…this is where we live and this is where Libya is and wow look at that ocean. Now he is starting to ask me
about Iran.

At preschool yesterday that same four year old inspected the mole on one of the moms helping in classroom, gave her a shot and told her he needed to cut it out. Yep he sure did. There was something or other about needing to make an appointment at the front desk too.

My four year old can pronounce the names of dinosaurs so well that I secretly hope he doesn’t ask me to read the dinosaur book at bedtime because I’m tired of him correcting me because he is so clearly exasperated by me.

There were a lot of things I didn’t know about mothering when I was blessed by this job. For instance, I had no idea I’d become so adept at waste management and so inept at managing clothing.

My two year old hurls his body in all kinds of directions and sometimes I shrug it off (think: wow, who knew you would bounce off that like that and thank goodness you thought it was funny) and sometimes I scream bloody murder (think: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO JUMP ON FURNITURE AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO JUMP FROM COUCH TO OTTOMAN TO COUCH TO CHAIR TO CHAIR DID YOU SEE HOW CLOSE YOU CAME TO FALLING OFF THE EDGE OF THE COUCH?!!)

Tuesday at preschool another mother asked me how I managed to always look so together. I told her that it was a slippery slope to sweat pants and a minivan and then another mother screamed “it so is!” and we had a great conversation about getting dressed and people wiping snot on you or pulling at your necklace and shoes with heels.

Last night Luke told me my dinner was so good that his heart was melting and I was an angel. On the spot I vowed to get him the ridiculous toy he wants for Valentine's Day. Nolan too...because I'm sure he said the same thing in his heart, he was just busy shoveling in my amazing dinner.

Confidential to Nolan

It's 6:16am and you have been awake
for the last two hours. Even now I hear
you playing and banging around in your crib.
You are happy. No yelling and crying.
Just one question...What is your strategy for the rest of the day?

Upgrade

Somewhere in December I got an iphone.
Stop laughing.
Me, the girl who didn't even know how to check her voicemail on her old cell phone has an iphone? Yes, I do and I love it.
(before getting me the phone my wise husband did ask me if i thought i could handle it. it was a fair question.)
coolest thing about the iphone apart from how easy it is to check voicemail?
pictures.
check them out.

Athletic Shoes

I’m more tired than normal today.
Jet lag tired on top of about a
week and a half of warp speed life
and this morning I was feeling the impact.
I still showered and did my hair and got ready
before 7am because you know I’d have to be
half an inch away from the hospital before I
neared that slippery slope of sweat pants and a minivan.
Anyway…
My boys were dressed and ready to get in the car.
Our bags and snacks were ready for the car.
I needed socks and shoes so I headed to the closet.
I put my hand on my sock drawer and for the first time
I can remember I really wanted to wear athletic shoes.
You see, I was dreading our morning. I had to take both
boys with me to the grocery store this morning. Happy to take one
kid with me to the grocery store but both of them? NO THANK YOU.
Together in the grocery store is really my own personal torture chamber.
I’d rather sit in a doctor’s office waiting for one hour with both my sick children
before I took them to the grocery store together.
Crazy exhausted + grocery store + two boys = desire for athletic shoes.
So you know what I did?
I marched myself over and slapped on some bling and dangly earrings.
I whipped out some cashmere socks and slipped on some boots.
Not today slippery slope.
Not today.

And then I was at the grocery store.
With a four year old who wanted to help which
then made the two year old want to help.
Quick.
How long does it take a four year old and a two year old
to open those plastic produce bags?
Answer: Forever when you need to put something in it and a split second when they want to put it over their head.
Yes that was my two year old screaming at the checkout
line. And yes that was me letting him scream and not
giving in. You see he disobeyed me and I had to draw the line and so I’d rather him scream in the checkout line than let him get away with it. I’m trying to raise a man, not a grown-up boy.
And yes, the manager of the Chick-fli-A recognized us at the grocery store.

I still win today slippery slope.